yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
