1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
