When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize