She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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