don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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