Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
