He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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