new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
