It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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