P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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