he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
