what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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