She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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