Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
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my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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