why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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