pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
