Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
