I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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