It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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