He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i think i have two assholes
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
