Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize