that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize