As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
