Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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