Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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