check it out our google latitudes are spooning
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
She announced her abortion via fbk
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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