Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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