Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
