Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
