I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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