You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
