i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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