We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
