There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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