come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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