life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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