If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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