; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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