so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
