barbara walters just said penis...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
