All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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