I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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