She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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