Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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