hotel room ftw
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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