I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
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He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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