yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
