even my farts smell like vagina
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize