STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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