i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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