we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I didn't notice because vodka
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
