is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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