I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize