Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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