Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
