Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Randomize
