so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
