Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
